I love hearing when my husband calls me his brown eyed girl. It is a such a comfort to hear him say that with so much love. There is no doubt that he loves me. I have loved him for more than 34 years now. Not many people can claim that and still be married to same guy.
We have known each other since I was 3 years old and he was 5 years old. Of course, we didn't love each other then. His sister and I were best friends. Actually, we were about the only girls in the neighborhood that were the same age. Anyway, I don't really remember my husband back then but he remembers me. I had a wadding pool in my backyard and my rule was no boys allowed. Well, that made his brother and him jealous so they fixed us. They put bugs in our pool one day and we had to wait for my dad to clean it out before we could swim. I don't remember that event at all.
I know that back in the good ol' days, when moms stayed home and kids played together in the neighborhood, when 3 year olds could go around the corner to a friend's house and you didn't have to worry about them, we had the biggest birthday parties. All the kids in the neighborhood were invited. So that meant my husband, his brother and sister were invited too. Well, in pictures of those times, my husband is either right behind me or beside me in the pictures. I guess that only proves we were meant to be and that God knew then that he would be my husband.
I believe that if we are walking with God, He will direct our paths to meet the very person He created for us. When we do that, it will be a lasting love. I don't mean that there won't be differences and little spats but with God in the midst and trusting Him, you will survive.
Anyway, back to my story...When I was 5 years old, my best friend moved and took her brother with her naturally. Then about 2 1/2 years later my friend would drown in a base swimming pool in Puerto Rico. Despite that, when I was 15 years old they moved back to the home they left 10 years earlier. His younger brothers, who were all the ages of my younger sisters, struck up a close friendship and then I was drawn in. Mainly because I loved taking the younger kids to the beach and movies, etc. It wasn't long before parents put us together and months later we started dating. Two and a half years later we were married.
He has always called me his brown eyed girl and together we have 2 blue eyed boys and a brown eyed little girl. So now he doesn't have just one brian's brown eyed girl but two. How ironic!
I love being Brian's brown eyed girl.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Difference Between Being the Mom of the Bride and Being the Mom of the Groom
Last year my only daughter got married. She was also the youngest of my 3 children.
She married a really sweet guy whom we think the world of. There is one thing I will never doubt and that is his love for her and her love for him. Anyway, that is another story.
This year my oldest son is getting married to a wonderful girl. It will be one year and one month after my daughter got married so comparing the two experiences is still very vivid in my mind.
When Jill got engaged, she had only been out of school a year and a half. I guess after she and her hubby had dated about 8 months I got the idea that it might be more than a casual relationship. He was in the military and was a good christian boy and she was truly grounded in her faith so that wasn't to be an issue. I was so excited as was her dad.
Then the planning started. Trying to set a date that worked for everyone was probably one of the most monumental tasks we faced. My daughter shed many tears while going through this process. Finally, we reached a date that worked for most of us so that was the date they set. I would have wished it had been a little later than planned so I would have time to plan and enjoy that part of it all but it all worked out in the end.
The cost was the next hurdle and even that worked out. There were tears and frustrations as well as laughs and happy times. I was constantly busy for the 7 months leading up to the wedding. So much to think about and at times I felt like I was out to sea with little more than an inner tube. Thank the Lord I had a friend who had been through the experience not even a year earlier and another close friend going through it all with her son and his fiance. (By the way, her son's fiance had no other family but the one she was about to join. Both her parents had passed away, her mother just a month after the engagement was announced. So my friend was planning a wedding just like me.) Anyway, I could call on them at times for help, but for the most part you have to figure some of this out through trial and error. As the mother of the bride, you know everything that is going on or so you think. You do most of the running around, etc. to get things done. There is the reception to worry about and the cake, the wedding dress, and helping pick out wedding favors. Planning what to do on the day of the wedding to help the bridesmaids and the bride get ready for the big event on time, and then there is the out of town family that is coming in, etc., the list is enormous! And again, I mention the emotions that run from joy, to frustration, to "my baby girl is getting married", to joy again. Emotions were moment to moment some days.
Then there is being the mother of the groom. It is hasn't been so bad. The biggest thing was planning where to have the rehearsal dinner and then negotiating the cost. That worked out but then there were invitations and RSVP's to be sent. That was all fun. I even decided to add a bridal shower to the mix since my future daughter-in-law lived out of town and I wanted to be able to bless her in some way. That all worked out and kept me busy.
Since my son has lived out on his own for the most part for the last 10 years, getting used to the idea he was getting married didn't seem as hard as it did with my daughter who was 20 when she became engaged. He had had many bumps along the way and worked them all out and has grown into a wonderful man whom we are really proud of. He is responsible and loving and I have never doubted he would make someone a wonderful husband. So for him to become engaged was a joy, especially since the girl he fell for is such a wonderful person and everything I ever prayed for in a mate for my child. I have been full of joy ever since he brought her to meet us and told me he truly believed she was the one.
It has been for the most part just easy going, until this past weekend. It was wonderful! My son brought our granddaughter to town and we were having the bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law. I got to meet her mom, whom I had had many conversations with on the phone and felt like I already knew her. I got to meet her sister-in-law, who was equally as enjoyable as her mother and my daughter-in-law to be. Joy was overflowing!!! It was a great weekend, until Sunday. My son made a little statement that hit me like a ton of bricks. He was getting ready to leave to go back to Texas when he said, "The next time I come home it will be to get married." The waterworks were on and by the time he left the house, they were in the floodzone. Even now, I am tearing up. My little boy is getting married. All the emotions I felt with my daughter were facing me again. I am so happy for him, as I was for my little girl, but still my little boy is getting married. Where has the time gone?
Hopefully, I will cry myself out before the wedding so I don't do so at the wedding. Although, he is an emotional guy so if he tears up, then I will need buckets to hold under my eyes. The saving grace is it will be outside and won't have to worry about ruining any furniture or carpet when the floods come.
Nevertheless, why I thought it would be any different for me when my little boy got married than when my little girl got married is beyond me. My joy is overwhelming and with that comes tears, tears of extreme happiness for each of my children as they find the life long mate I have always prayed for them to find.
She married a really sweet guy whom we think the world of. There is one thing I will never doubt and that is his love for her and her love for him. Anyway, that is another story.
This year my oldest son is getting married to a wonderful girl. It will be one year and one month after my daughter got married so comparing the two experiences is still very vivid in my mind.
When Jill got engaged, she had only been out of school a year and a half. I guess after she and her hubby had dated about 8 months I got the idea that it might be more than a casual relationship. He was in the military and was a good christian boy and she was truly grounded in her faith so that wasn't to be an issue. I was so excited as was her dad.
Then the planning started. Trying to set a date that worked for everyone was probably one of the most monumental tasks we faced. My daughter shed many tears while going through this process. Finally, we reached a date that worked for most of us so that was the date they set. I would have wished it had been a little later than planned so I would have time to plan and enjoy that part of it all but it all worked out in the end.
The cost was the next hurdle and even that worked out. There were tears and frustrations as well as laughs and happy times. I was constantly busy for the 7 months leading up to the wedding. So much to think about and at times I felt like I was out to sea with little more than an inner tube. Thank the Lord I had a friend who had been through the experience not even a year earlier and another close friend going through it all with her son and his fiance. (By the way, her son's fiance had no other family but the one she was about to join. Both her parents had passed away, her mother just a month after the engagement was announced. So my friend was planning a wedding just like me.) Anyway, I could call on them at times for help, but for the most part you have to figure some of this out through trial and error. As the mother of the bride, you know everything that is going on or so you think. You do most of the running around, etc. to get things done. There is the reception to worry about and the cake, the wedding dress, and helping pick out wedding favors. Planning what to do on the day of the wedding to help the bridesmaids and the bride get ready for the big event on time, and then there is the out of town family that is coming in, etc., the list is enormous! And again, I mention the emotions that run from joy, to frustration, to "my baby girl is getting married", to joy again. Emotions were moment to moment some days.
Then there is being the mother of the groom. It is hasn't been so bad. The biggest thing was planning where to have the rehearsal dinner and then negotiating the cost. That worked out but then there were invitations and RSVP's to be sent. That was all fun. I even decided to add a bridal shower to the mix since my future daughter-in-law lived out of town and I wanted to be able to bless her in some way. That all worked out and kept me busy.
Since my son has lived out on his own for the most part for the last 10 years, getting used to the idea he was getting married didn't seem as hard as it did with my daughter who was 20 when she became engaged. He had had many bumps along the way and worked them all out and has grown into a wonderful man whom we are really proud of. He is responsible and loving and I have never doubted he would make someone a wonderful husband. So for him to become engaged was a joy, especially since the girl he fell for is such a wonderful person and everything I ever prayed for in a mate for my child. I have been full of joy ever since he brought her to meet us and told me he truly believed she was the one.
It has been for the most part just easy going, until this past weekend. It was wonderful! My son brought our granddaughter to town and we were having the bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law. I got to meet her mom, whom I had had many conversations with on the phone and felt like I already knew her. I got to meet her sister-in-law, who was equally as enjoyable as her mother and my daughter-in-law to be. Joy was overflowing!!! It was a great weekend, until Sunday. My son made a little statement that hit me like a ton of bricks. He was getting ready to leave to go back to Texas when he said, "The next time I come home it will be to get married." The waterworks were on and by the time he left the house, they were in the floodzone. Even now, I am tearing up. My little boy is getting married. All the emotions I felt with my daughter were facing me again. I am so happy for him, as I was for my little girl, but still my little boy is getting married. Where has the time gone?
Hopefully, I will cry myself out before the wedding so I don't do so at the wedding. Although, he is an emotional guy so if he tears up, then I will need buckets to hold under my eyes. The saving grace is it will be outside and won't have to worry about ruining any furniture or carpet when the floods come.
Nevertheless, why I thought it would be any different for me when my little boy got married than when my little girl got married is beyond me. My joy is overwhelming and with that comes tears, tears of extreme happiness for each of my children as they find the life long mate I have always prayed for them to find.
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